Question: Who pays for the wedding in Jewish tradition?
What is the groom's parents obligation (monitary) with regards to helping to pay for a traditional Jewish wedding?
Answer: I am unaware of the application of any "tradition" in who pays for what in contemporary Jewish weddings.
In the olden days, often the bride's family sponsored the wedding while the groom's family paid for the music, liquor and rabbi. In my experience as a rabbi, most families today do not divide the wedding expenses in this way.
First of all, couples today tend to get married much later and after they are fairly well established financially. Thus, the couple themselves, rather than their families, often cover most of the wedding costs. Secondly, in dual faith families and geographically dispersed families, background traditions vary and expectations vary. Thus, couples today are more likely to create their own new and unique wedding arrangements rather than to follow a common tradition from the past.
In Israel today, it is common practice for the couple's parents to split the cost of the wedding down the middle. In addition, often Israeli parents, in addition to the wedding, will help the new couple purchase their first home.
If you want a truly "traditional" and "local" approach, I suggest you speak with the rabbi who will be officiating at the wedding.
Good luck, mazal tov and best wishes for a marriage that will offer both the bride and groom a lifetime of health, companionship and blessing in a world at peace.
Rabbi Dov
