Question: How will my family history affect my finding an orthodox Jewish wife?
I am a 23 year old orthodox Jew, and I am very distraught! I am now at the marriagable age, but I have a major major problem. My father is homosexual. He eventually broke up the family and came out. Now I'm very scared because I am afraid I will have a hard time getting married to a quality mate. What chance do I have with a homosexual father? Also how on earth do I tell her when the time comes? Should I expect her to tell her entire family? What if she breaks up with me upon hearing this information?
Answer: There are some things in life that are simply beyond our control. In your case there are two things - 1. your father's practices and 2. what others will think of you because of them.
You must feel secure and confident as you continue to search for your bashert - the soulmate that God has chosen for you even prior to you having been born. (see Talmud Sota 2b, Talmud Moed Katan 18b).
Think about it - no doubt you yourself would not be interested in someone who would only be interested in marrying you for what your father is or is not. You want someone who will love you for everything YOU are. The right girl will indeed be such a person regardless of any exterior factors.
Yes, the recent events in your life may be upsetting but don't let them get you down - certainly not concerning something as special and spiritual as finding your soulmate.
Rabbi Ari Enkin
Ramat Beit Shemesh, Israel
