Question: Can uncircumcised child of Jewish father, non-Jewish mother get a Hebrew name?
Answer: Dear friends,
You ask if a baby boy who has a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother can be given a Jewish name. You mention that the baby was circumcised in the hospital, I presume without the blessings of a B'rit Milah (Bris). Such a circumcision has no status whatsoever in establishing the Jewish identity of a baby boy.
The real question is whether this boy is Jewish. If he is, then he can be given a Jewish name in the sense that you mean -- a name by which he would be known as a Jew. If he is not Jewish, then giving him a Jewish name would be meaningless.
According to orthodoxy and the Conservative Movement, the child cannot be considered Jewish without conversion, since his mother is not Jewish. Conversion would require a ritual called "Hatafat Dam B'rit," which involves the drawing of a small amount of blood from the site of the baby's circumcision with appropriate blessings. Hatafat Dam B'rit is far less intrusive and causes less pain to the baby then the circumcision the baby had in the hospital. Conversion would also require immersion in a mikveh (ritual bath). As part of this ritual, the child would be given a Jewish name.
According to the Reform Movement, a child with one Jewish parent is considered Jewish if he or she is identified as a Jew through "appropriate and timely public acts" -- acts such as a B'rit Milah for a boy or an equivalent covenant ritual for a girl. The interpretation of the phrase, "appropriate and timely public acts," is left to the discretion of individual Reform rabbis.
To my mind, it is unfortunate that there was no ritual of B'rit Milah if the intention is to raise the child as a Jew. B'rit Milah would have assured the boy a Jewish identity from the perspective of nearly all of Reform Judaism. The parents now must discuss with a rabbi their options for ritually identifying the child as a Jew. Different Reform rabbis will offer different options for such a ritual, including the option of Hatafat Dam B'rit.
Personally, I would recommend this as the most appropriate course at this point. Ideally, the ritual would be performed on the eighth day after the baby was born, but it is possible to do it later. Obviously, this ritual becomes more problematic if it is postponed beyond infancy. The baby's Jewish name could be given at the Haftafat Dam B'rit ritual because, from the perspective of Reform Judaism, the child does not require conversion or immersion in a mikveh.
But perhaps I'm jumping the gun here. You asked if the baby could be given a Jewish name. You didn't say that the parents want the child to be considered Jewish. Do they?
From the perspective of Reform Judaism, it would be very difficult to identify the child as a Jew if he does not have parents -- mother and father -- who want him to be so identified. Such identification must be exclusive. Both parents would have to be committed to raising the child as a Jew to the exclusion of all other religions.
Many interfaith couples today convince themselves that they can raise their children as either "both" or "neither," and allow the children to choose a religion as they grow older. This may be the case in the situation about which you have written. I strongly urge couples against this choice. Children who are not given a clear religious identity from early childhood rarely develop a strong sense of connection to any tradition. Children crave identity and it is the job of parents to help them establish one.
This can be a difficult and painful decision for an interfaith couple, but it is far from being the last difficult choice they will make. Raising children is all about difficult choices, all the more so when the family must make compromises concerning basic questions of identity.
If this child is going to be Jewish, let him be completely Jewish. Have the ritual of Hatafat Dam B'rit performed by a competent mohel or mohelet and teach the child to think of himself as a Jew from the beginning. Then the choice to give the child a Jewish name will be a meaningful and lasting choice for the rest of his life.
Best wishes,
Rabbi Jeffrey Goldwasser
