Question: Can a Jewish child be baptized in a Catholic church?
"I am Jewish. My husband is Catholic. My husband would like to baptize our daughter. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, what's a little water over her? Someone's faith surely can't be determined by someone sprinkling water on you as an infant. And it would make my husband happy. On the other hand, doing it makes me feel like a traitor to my religion. What makes it worse is my husband's openness to Judaism. He wants us to go to synagogue, celebrate the holidays, and give her a Bat-Mitzvah. He also wants her to be baptized. What say you?"
Answer: In essence, you are asking if a Jewish child be baptized in a Catholic church. You describe a situation in which your Catholic husband, who has been supportive of your desire to raise your daughter as a Jew, wants to have the child baptized.
The most important thing to do in your situation is to communicate. You and your husband need to talk to each other about what is really at stake for you in this decision. Each of you needs to hear from the other what a Catholic baptism would mean for you and for your child.
I understand how easy it would be for you to say, "My husband is making such a sacrifice by raising his daughter in another religion. How bad could it be just to have a little water sprinkled on her, for his sake?" The key to the situation, though, is that to the Catholic Church, "a little water" does mean a lot.
The position of the Catholic Church is that, "By baptism ... we are made members of Christ and incorporated with the Church." Baptism is the ritual in which a child is declared to be a Catholic. To the Catholic Church, that is an issue of dire importance because Catholic doctrine teaches that there can be no salvation without baptism.
Now, I take religion seriously -- my own religion and the religions of others. It seems to me that if your child is baptized, you will be doing one of two things: 1) You will be declaring your daughter to be a member of the Catholic Church. Or, 2) You will just be "going through the motions" of a ritual that means nothing to you. The first is a choice of apostasy, the second is a choice of hypocrisy.
I don't think that either you or your husband intend to do either of those things. You both want to raise your daughter as a Jew and you both want to honor your husband's Catholic upbringing. In my opinion, baptism would be contrary to both goals.
It would be far better to give your daughter a sense of pride in her Catholic heritage in ways that do not require ritual. Let her visit her father's family to witness how they celebrate their holidays. Let her learn from her father what he finds valuable about his religious and cultural heritage. Let her experience and let her appreciate, but let her also be a Jew.
I wonder, what message it would send your daughter as a teenager if she found out that she had been baptized as an infant? If you and your husband have chosen to raise her as a Jew, give her the security of knowing that Judaism is her religion. Baptism may be the first issue the two of you have faced in making decisions about your daughter's religion, but it will not be the last. Start now by making decisions that affirm her Jewish identity.
The most important thing to do in your situation is to communicate. You and your husband need to talk to each other about what is really at stake for you in this decision. Each of you needs to hear from the other what a Catholic baptism would mean for you and for your child.
I understand how easy it would be for you to say, "My husband is making such a sacrifice by raising his daughter in another religion. How bad could it be just to have a little water sprinkled on her, for his sake?" The key to the situation, though, is that to the Catholic Church, "a little water" does mean a lot.
The position of the Catholic Church is that, "By baptism ... we are made members of Christ and incorporated with the Church." Baptism is the ritual in which a child is declared to be a Catholic. To the Catholic Church, that is an issue of dire importance because Catholic doctrine teaches that there can be no salvation without baptism.
Now, I take religion seriously -- my own religion and the religions of others. It seems to me that if your child is baptized, you will be doing one of two things: 1) You will be declaring your daughter to be a member of the Catholic Church. Or, 2) You will just be "going through the motions" of a ritual that means nothing to you. The first is a choice of apostasy, the second is a choice of hypocrisy.
I don't think that either you or your husband intend to do either of those things. You both want to raise your daughter as a Jew and you both want to honor your husband's Catholic upbringing. In my opinion, baptism would be contrary to both goals.
It would be far better to give your daughter a sense of pride in her Catholic heritage in ways that do not require ritual. Let her visit her father's family to witness how they celebrate their holidays. Let her learn from her father what he finds valuable about his religious and cultural heritage. Let her experience and let her appreciate, but let her also be a Jew.
I wonder, what message it would send your daughter as a teenager if she found out that she had been baptized as an infant? If you and your husband have chosen to raise her as a Jew, give her the security of knowing that Judaism is her religion. Baptism may be the first issue the two of you have faced in making decisions about your daughter's religion, but it will not be the last. Start now by making decisions that affirm her Jewish identity.
