Question: Do Jews sit shiva for a still-born baby?
Answer: Until recently, Jews did not sit shiva for a still-born or even for a child who died before living up to 30 days.
Recently, however, perhaps because of women becoming ordained rabbis, we've learned that women suffer from the loss of a still-born or young baby almost as much as the loss of a child who has lived more than 30 days. In some cases, a name has been given or a ceremony such as a pidyon haben, bris, or naming has taken place.
When people ask me what to do in the case of a miscarriage late in the pregnancy, a still-born or a child who doesn't survive for more than a few days, I tell them both about traditional Jewish Law and custom and also about newer customs evolving in Jewish communities today.
According to traditional Jewish Law, no shiva takes place for a baby who has not lived at least 30 days. In contrast, I, and many of my male and female colleagues who also serve as Conservative rabbis, will respond to requests from families who want "Jewish" help with their funeral, burial or mourning rituals for a still-born or young baby.
In response to requests for help with the funeral and/or burial of such a loss, I have officiated at generally very small and private family services. Thereafter, if the family wishes, they can voluntarily sit shiva. I encourage them not to sit the full seven days in order to distinguish between the mourning of this loss from the more traditional mourning rituals over the loss of a close relative.
