Question: Must Conservative Jews recite the mourner's kaddish prayer three times a day?
Dear Rabbi,
My question is about the Conservative movement's view on a mourners reciting kaddish for a parent. Must the kaddish be recited three times a day for eleven months? How about if you said it three times during a morning minyan? How about if you only say it one time at a service in the synagogue with the congregation?
Thank you, Laurie
Answer: Dear Laurie,
Thank you for writing, and it is a most serious question. I hope that it is hypothetical and not a real question for you or your family.
The real answer is that you are governed by Jewish tradition by the opinion of your Rabbi, not my opinion or that of anyone else. Your Rabbi has the final opinion. I hope that you are affiliated with a synagogue or minyan (where else would you say Kaddish), and that you can ask the Rabbi of your minyan this question.
My own opinion, following Jewish tradition, is the Kaddish is said for a parent for 11 months and for other "close relationships" (spouse, child, sibling) for 30 days. Some will say that Kaddish should be recited for all of these relationships for 11 months.
It is traditional to attend minyan three times per "Jewish day" - that is the evening, morning and then afternoon service. If you recite Kaddish three times during one service, that would be stretching it a bit. If, however, you absolutely can't get to the other two minyanim, anywhere, then you would have to rely on the Kaddish recitations you are able to make in the one service.
If this is a real question for you, please accept my sincerest sympathies and please speak with your Rabbi or the Rabbi who officiated at the service.
Best wishes,
Rabbi Dov
