Question: Should one light a different Yahrzeit candle for each deceased family member?
Can you light one Yahrzeit candle for all members of your family or do you light one for each member.
Answer: You ask about whether you should light one yahrtzeit candle for each of the deceased members of your family or if you can light one candle for all of your loved ones.
Not everything that Jews do is a matter of Jewish law. Many Jewish practices -- like the lighting of memorial candles -- are matters of custom, "minhag," that vary from community to community.
The best answer to your question, therefore, is that you should look at what other people in your community do. There is no one answer for all communities because this is not a matter of Jewish law.
Many people light one candle in their home on a loved one's yahrtzeit, the anniversary of death on the Hebrew calendar. (The word "yahrtzeit" is Yiddish for "year's time.") If more than one person shares the same yahrtzeit date, most Jews light separate candles for each of the deceased.
When remembering many loved ones on a single occasion -- such as at a Yizkor service, or on Holocaust remembrance day -- many Jews light one candle in the synagogue for all of their deceased. Technically, this memorial is not a "yahrtzeit" candle, as it is not lit on the anniversary of death. However, you may use the same type of 24-hour candle in a glass jar that frequently is called a "yahrtzeit candle."
There is a separate custom, often confused with yahrtzeit candles, for mourners when they return home from a funeral. The custom is to light a seven-day memorial candle that burns throughout the shivah period. Most synagogues or Jewish funeral homes provide the seven-day shivah candle to families following a funeral.
I hope this is helpful.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Jeffrey W. Goldwasser
