The conflict with my parents came to a head one night when they visited me. My mother was crying as she asked me if the Bible said I was supposed to honor them. "You've rejected your religion. You've given up your career. I suppose next you'll reject your country [and leave for Israel]. When are you going to reject us?"

It's hard to deal with such arguments. They come from an emotional level it's best for me to stay away from. The Torah says that even if your parents do not observe G-d's commandments or even curse G-d, you are never to show disrespect to them. So I listened to them as they vented their frustrations and kept quiet most of the night. I did explain to them that I can't break G-d's commandments. [Over time the relationship warmed. I gave the eulogy on behalf of my brothers and mother at my father’s funeral in 1999.]

The rabbi I studied with made very sure that I understood this and that I also understood that in many ways my mother and father would cease to be my parents. When they die, for example, I cannot observe the laws of mourning for them, no matter how beneficial it might be for me. And, he said, I would never be as close to them as I once was. He was right.

But I still love them. I love a lot of people who perhaps look at me as a freak today. Maybe I'm not always tolerant of people around me.

For example, I would prefer that more Jews convert to Judaism. But my father and mother taught me how to love all kinds of people; to give freely of myself and of my possessions. In a way, they gave me my first lessons in the laws of tzedakah, charity. Because of it, I'm a better Jew.

I couldn't wait to become a Jew. But the conversion process is long and frustrating. Some people never get beyond the first stage. I know one rabbi who weeds out the less sincere by first teaching them the laws of family purity -- those laws which restrict the times when a husband and wife can sleep together. He told me he likes to "hit them below the belt" to see if they are really sincere.

Many Jews have come to me and said that I know so much more than the average Jew. I don't see that as a point of pride; in fact, I find it very sad. When I was studying with my rabbi, I was sure that I knew enough to be converted. But my rabbi waited. I think his goal was to convert me when he was sure I knew enough but when I realized that I need to learn a lot more Torah.

Finally, I went to the mikvah to be immersed in its warm waters and complete my conversion, and I felt elation and joy I've never felt before. Many people will never understand why. But all at once I had the very positive feeling of completing one difficult assignment successfully, and having another challenging assignment before me. The boss liked my work, and now He was giving me a new challenge He knew I could handle.

POSTSCRIPT: My studies of Judaism did not end with my conversion in June 1980. I continued my studies, as all Jews should. In 1997, I undertook the daily discipline of studying Talmud in the international Daf Yomi program -- a process where the student learns one folio page a day until the entire Talmud is completed -- some 7 1/2 years later. I completed the entire Talmud, along with thousands of others around the world, on March 1, 2005, and then started all over again. For the 20th anniversary of my conversion, I thought I would challenge myself by teaching an entire folio page to my Daf Yomi group, and then host a party for the completion of that tractate. I wrote to Art Scroll -- the publishers of the best translation of the Talmud -- and asked to see a draft of their translation of the last page of Kesubos to assist me. The response I got startled me. They had not started, but they suggested that I try translating that page for publication "to make my simcha [celebration] more special." At first I declined, and then regretted that I hadn't obtained the skills over 20 years. A couple of days later I agreed to undertake the project and completed it three months later. My name appears in the editorial credits for Volume III of the Art Scroll translation of Kesubos.

Baruch Gershom, September 22, 2005.