Question: Can I convert to Judaism while living overseas without a rabbi?
Dear Rabbi,
I am serving in the military overseas at a remote location. I have been studying Judaism and attending services on base. I want to convert. My wife supports my decision, but she is Catholic and not interested in converting herself. Is this a problem? Secondly, there is no rabbi on base, and services are led by a lay-leader. Could I still do some form of conversion here, or must I wait until I am back in the US where rabbis are more common?
Joshua
Answer: Joshua,
Thank you for your question about converting to Judaism while you are living in an overseas community without a rabbi. You indicated that you will be moving back to the U.S., where rabbis are more plentiful, in the future. You also mentioned that your wife is not Jewish, but that she is supportive of your conversion.
Conversion is one Jewish life-cycle ritual that truly requires rabbinic leadership. According to Jewish tradition, weddings and baby namings do not require rabbis, just a knowledgeable Jew who can conduct the service properly. However, conversion requires three rabbis to serve as a rabbinic court, a bet din. Only someone who has been recognized by the Jewish community as an authority in Jewish law can serve in this capacity ... and that is what a rabbi is.
Some Reform rabbis will allow a knowledgeable Jew to serve on a bet din if there is at least one rabbi on the panel. This is most common in rural or isolated areas where there are few rabbis. Even in such a case, there really needs to be at least one rabbi.
Many, but not all, Reform rabbis object to converting a person who is married to a non-Jew, especially if there are children or the possibility of future children involved. These rabbis conclude that such a conversion would "create a mixed marriage" and that it, therefore, is the equivalent of officiating at an interfaith marriage.
You should know that, as a non-Jew, there are relatively few restrictions on your participation in the Jewish community. You may attend services and study Torah in the same way as any Jew. As a non-Jew, you should not wear a tallit and you should not be granted ritual honors, such as an aliyah to the Torah, during services. You should not lead any portion of the service required by Jewish law. However, the laws regarding kosher food, Shabbat, and other observances are not binding upon you as a non-Jew.
I recommend that you use your time overseas to learn and experience all that you can about Judaism, since it is a source of spiritual sustenance for you. When you return to the U.S., take your time to find a rabbi who will work with you further to help you take the next steps.
Best wishes,
Rabbi Jeffrey W. Goldwasser
