Question: Will a rabbi agree to perform a wedding on Saturday before sundown?
Answer: Mazal tov on your daughter's engagement. You asked me about whether
a rabbi would officiate on a specific Saturday evening in the summer
before sunset.
Many Reform rabbis, including myself, will not perform a wedding on
Shabbat -- that is, from Friday evening before sunset to Saturday
evening following sunset. On the date you mentioned, sunset is at
8:40 p.m. in your location.
Jews do not marry on Shabbat because it is a time for rest. Anyone
who has ever planned a wedding will tell you that it is not a very
restful experience! Also, weddings in Jewish tradition are
considered the forming of a binding agreement, which is antithetical
to the nature of Shabbat. Shabbat is a time for communal joy, not
for personal celebrations.
The date you mentioned also is the eve of Tisha B'Av, the darkest day
of the Jewish year. This is the one day of the entire year set aside
for mourning the state of the world's brokenness -- the day of the
ancient destruction of the First and Second Temples. We recognize
the brokenness of our world when we see war, poverty, violence and
environmental destruction -- experiences that make us more distant
from God. On all other days, we respond by trying to add to the
world's joy; on this day, we mourn and fast. It is not an
appropriate or propitious day for a wedding.
I regret that there may be a very few Reform rabbis who would choose
to allow a wedding on that date. We are a movement that allows
individuals broad discretion in the interpretation of Jewish
tradition; such choices are the price paid by a movement that puts a
high value on individual freedom. For myself, I would strongly urge
you, your daughter, and her fiance to find a different date.
I also would advise you -- as I advise all families and individuals
planning a wedding -- to find a rabbi to officiate before you set a
date. You would not set the date for a surgery before finding a
surgeon to perform it. A wedding is a major event in a couple's life
and it deserves at least as much forethought when you seek a rabbi to
officiate.
