Question: Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah Gifts
Should one give gifts for a bar or bat mitzvah? If so, what kind of gift is appropriate for a bar or bat mitzvah?
Answer: Gifts are generally given to the child who is celebrating the bar or bat mitzvah.
Gifts should not be brought to the synagogue service. It is best to give the gift at the party or deliver it to the child's home.
The same type of gift that is appropriate for a 13 year old birthday is also approriate for a bar/bat mitzvah. Generally close family gives Judaic gifts (such as kiddish cup, tallis bag, tefillin), so friends tend to give more neutral gifts. I find asking the parents what the child wants is the best bar/bat mitzvah gift-giving strategy.
Some popular gifts today include books, music, magazine subscription, DVD, computer and video games, software, camera, binoculars, watch, army knife, skate board, and sleeping bag. Gift certificates and cash also work well as bar/bat mitzvah gifts. Some people give cash in multiples of 18 as the the Hebrew word for life (chai) has the numerical value of 18 in Judaism.