My friend is married to an orthodox man who treats her like a slave. He acts
like her master. Do Jewish orthodox men usually treat their wives as
reproductive machines and servants? I am Jewish myself, but not orthodox.

Answer

According to Jewish law, a man is obligated to honor his wife more than himself. He is
also obligated (as stated in the Torah) to provide her material and emotional needs.

He certaintly may not abuse her in any way.

If a man is indeed acting in such a way, he is simply not following the Torah, whether he
calls himself Orthodox or Conservative or Reform or Episcopalian.

In an ideal sense, it is clear that the Torah system is superior
to any system yet known to mankind. The so-called Judeo-Christian
values that the civilized world takes for granted -- monotheism,
love your neighbor, peace on earth, justice for all, universal
education, all men are created equal, dignity of the individual,
the preciousness of life -- are all from the Torah. Isaiah's
vision of peace adorns the United Nations. The biblical "proclaim
freedom throughout the land" is engraved on the Liberty Bell.

So the problem is not with Judaism per se, but with the human
fallacy of those trying to live its ideals.

Isn't it true that for every problematic Jew, there are many more
wonderful Jews? A story from the Holocaust tells of a Jew who
angrily shouted at a rabbi in their concentration camp: "Judaism
creates monsters." Taken aback, the rabbi asked: "Please explain
why you say that."

The man said: "One Jew in the camp has a siddur, and is
extracting a heavy price for the use of it: He is taking a one
day's ration of bread in exchange for five minutes with the
siddur. What an evil, cruel man his Judaism has produced."

"No question this man's actions are abhorrent," said the rabbi.
"But why not look at the other side? Think of the hundreds of
Jews, so pious and pure, who are willing to give up their meager
daily sustenance in order to have a few minutes of quiet
contemplation with their Creator."

I hope this helps shed some light. May we all merit to act as the Torah truly desires us to
-- with dignity, compassion, and respect for each and every human being.