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Question
I have asked my in-laws why they did not light a memorial light for my baby who was stillborn. They have not given me a reasonable answer, but have said that grandparents do not light lights for their grandchildren, regardless if they were stillborn or born alive. I find this very hard to believe, but I don't know anything about it myself anyway! Apologies for such a morbid question, but due to the nature of the subject it's distressing enough for me as it is. Hopefully you can answer this question for me and put my mind at rest for future years to come.
Answer
Rabbi
M. Feinstein, the preeminent rabbi of the last generation, writes about the special
souls of children who died early. They are saints, clean and pure from sin, and
they will have an exceptional share in the afterworld - (source: "Igrot Moshe"
Y.D. III 138). When a child is stillborn or lives less than 30 days, the
funeral is simple without eulogies, and there is no Shiva and mourning periods
- (Code of Jewish Law" Y.D. 374:8). However, parents who wish to light the
memorial candles may do so. In general, it is incumbent upon the closest
relatives to light the memorial candles. Albeit, grandparents and other relatives
may light them as well. We hope and pray that you will never know
from pain anymore.
Rabbi Shraga Simmons
Aish.com
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