My husband who is not Jewish and I adopted a beautiful little baby girl from Russia just after Pesach last year. I have chosen her Naming/Conversion ceremony to be on April 27th of this year - our one year anniversary of the adoption. This will be a very important day and I am now receiving 'advice' from everyone - my sister and brother-in-law are orthodox and say that my baby will not be technically Jewish because I did not give birth to her and also because my husband is not Jewish. Second where is my husband not permitted to partake in the ceremony and how do I handle this? My husband is very respectful of my religous beliefs and practices and agrees that our baby will be raised with the same. I know in my heart that she will live in the Jewish traditions and customs as I have always but I am saddened inspite of my excitement and happiness as we near this day.

Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts. This is certainly an exciting time for you!

According to the Code of Jewish Law (the "Shulchan Aruch"), there are three requirements for a valid conversion. The requirements are:

1) Mitzvahs - He must believe in G-d and the divinity of the Torah, as well as accept upon himself to observe all 613 mitzvahs (commandments) of the Torah.

2) Milah - Male converts must undergo circumcision by a qualified "Mohel." If he was previously circumcised by a doctor, he then undergoes a ritual called "hatafas dam".

3) Mikveh - All converts must immerse in the Mikveh - a ritual bath linked to a reservoir of rain water.

All of the above must be done before a court of three Jewish men who themselves believe in G-d, accept the divinity of the Torah, and observe the mitzvahs. * * *

In the case of parents converting a child, it is slightly different, because obviously the child cannot fulfill one of the conditions - i.e. accepting upon himself to observe all 613 mitzvahs. (Only a child of age - i.e. 13 - has the ability to do such a thing.) Therefore, for a child's conversion to be valid, the parent's themselves must agree to observe all 613 mitzvahs. This is the only way it is reasonable to assume that the child will also observe the mitzvahs.

Furthermore, you should beware of someone who denies fundamental principles of Jewish belief (such as, the word for word divinity of the Torah), or offers to perform your conversion without the obligation to perform the commandments. This conversion would be invalid according to the Code of Jewish Law.

I suggest attending a Discovery seminar. This provides an excellent framework and overview of the entire gamut of Jewish history, philosophy, and literature. It can help bring your family together moving in the same religious direction. The seminar is given in hundreds of cities throughout the world. For a current schedule, go to http://www.discoveryproduction.com.