Host Susan_host1 says:
What should happen if one member of the couple cheats on the other?

Rabbi_Boteach says:
If a man cheats on his wife and sincerely regrets what he has done, and repents amply, I believe that he should be forgiven. With women it is more complicated because women become more emotionally involved with their lovers than men.

Lynne1 says:
I have just read that it is in a man to have to find as many partners as possible to be able to produce as many off spring as he can, and that a woman has to find the strongest and best to have children with - how does this fit in to the monogamous marriage?

Rabbi_Boteach says:
Monogamy may not be natural, but then it is the best way to live, and caters to our emotional need to find a soul mate. Not everything that is natural is good. It is natural to be lazy. But G-d's intention is for people to be monogamous, that's why he created Adam and Eve. All experiments for open marriage throughout the generations, to accommodate sexual urges for strangers without disrupting the couple's intimacy, have failed. A good case in point is the life of Bertrand Russel.

Host says:
When is a good time to start sexual education?

Rabbi_Boteach says:
I don't believe in explicit sexual education. By talking about something, you excite interest in it. But teaching laws of modesty, and laws that allow us to master our sexuality, should be taught from age fourteen.

Host says:
What do you think about masturbation?

Rabbi_Boteach says:
Masturbation in a marriage is very destructive, because it leads to the marital partners losing their sexual steam without it bringing them closer. The strongest human need is our sexual needs. This should be used to our advantage in marriage.

Host says:
Rabbi, what about masturbation before the marriage?

Rabbi_Boteach says:
Well, it’s very similar. It means that I can't hold back a sexual urge. So rather than allowing it to lead me to a soul mate, I just rid myself of the urge through masturbation. I realize that we have to be realistic. But everything in moderation. I want people to have real happiness through finding a permanent and passionate sexual partner.

Vivax says:
Is there good sex education in Yeshivas?

Rabbi_Boteach says:
Well, the Yeshivas basically try and segregate the sexes. I think this is a good thing. Because boys and girls remain mysterious to one another, thereby heightening attraction. I believe that this is the reason that Yeshiva people marry earlier. They are not afraid of commitment.

Host says:
Should a husband and wife share their sexual fantasies, or could that ruin the mystery?

Rabbi_Boteach says:
I believe that it's a good idea, although not for everyone. It should specifically be used when a couple's sex life is on the brink. Having said this, a husband and wife should not be sexually inhibited around each other.

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