If you are sensitive to stereotyping, these jokes are not for you.
*Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
*A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
*Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess horror movie ?
*A: It's called "Debbie Does Dishes".
*Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
*A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
*Q: What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?
*A: Facing Bloomingdale's
*When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."
*A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
*"Not too good,"says the mother. "I've been very weak."
*The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
*She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
*The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?
*The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth filled with food if you called."
*A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.
*"Wonderful. What part is it?"
*The boy says,"I play the part of the Jewish husband."
*The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
*Q. Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
*A. Under the vacuum cleaner.
*Q. How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
*A. (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.
*Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, 'Lady, I haven't eaten in three days.'
*"Force yourself," she replied.
* Q: What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers?
* A: 'Is ANYTHING all right?'
* Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother?
* A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
* Sam Levy was driving down the road, gets pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to Sam's car, the policeman says, 'Your wife fell out of the car five miles back.' Sam replies, 'Thank god for that... I'd thought I'd gone deaf!'
* Q: If a doctor carries a black bag and a plumber carries a toolbox, what does a mohel carry?
* A: A Bris-kit!
* Q: What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews?
* A: Filet minyan.
* Jewish telegram: 'Begin worrying. Details to follow.'
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