Holocaust Survivor: Haya (Katie) Goldberger (nee Schindler)

Born 1930 in Hajdunanas, Hungary. Jewish life in Hajdunanas. Trouble because of lack of Hungarian citizenship. Mayor places father under house arrest so he shouldn't be banished from Hungary. Subsisting after father deprived of livelihood. Young Haya rebels against degrading treatment by Hungarians. To ghetto, then to Debrecen brick factory. Putting on Tefillin at Bar Mitzva despite danger. Journey in cattlecars toward Czechoslovakia and back to Strasshof. Families able to work sent to Austria. Work at Amaliendorf in factory making clothing for German Army. Father deported to Bergen-Belsen. Teresienstadt. To Hungary after liberation. Rumania. Haya's attempt to get to Eretz Yisrael from Brno with group of youths. In Germany with Dror Habonim Socialist Zionist youth group. With parents in Austria. To Eretz Yisrael from Italy with Youth Aliya, December 1947.

The Rebel

When Mama decided to go to Budapest to try to earn some money to support the family, Papa became very edgy and short-tempered. The fact that Mama had to go and he was under house arrest literally made him sick. When the yeshivot were closed, my brothers came home and our situation became even more difficult. At that time we were producing shoes of woven straw for the Hungarian and German Armies. The shoes were supposed to protect the feet against frostbite. Papa brought piles of straw. We had to weave the straw on forms.

I was a rebellious, unforgiving sort: if anyone hit me, I hit back. Papa once grabbed me and shook me, saying: "What are you doing? Do you want that Gentile whose son you spit at to come in here? Do you realize what he'll do if he comes into our house? You'll be the ruin of us!"

This worked for two or three weeks, and then again I lost control of myself. Only this time I did something very serious: I didn't pull the straw tight enough. And again the Gentile in charge complained: "Do you want the feet of our soldiers to freeze?" Nothing dire happened to us, but we were not permitted to do that work anymore. Again I felt that I was to blame, that instead of helping I had done something wrong.

Mama stopped going to Budapest, because she saw that it made Papa sick. She bought some ducks and geese. We would slaughter them ritually, cook them and sell the smoked meat. We had some income from that and we had food, but this didn't go on for long. House searches began. This was marketeering, an unforgivable crime. We did it in the house between two doors, and we mailed the meat once a week to Miskolc, packed in marmalade containers, about five kilograms per container. From time to time I would bring the stuff to the post office. For a nice portion of goose liver, the clerk would turn a blind eye. There were special detectives whose job it was to look out for such illegal activities.

I remember once setting out with the boxes and seeing one of the detectives standing there watching me. I stopped and said to him: "Tell me, sir, why are you standing there staring at me? Didn't you ever see a box of marmalade before?" He knew Papa and knew that I was his daughter. He said: "Cheeky Jew! Beat it before I give you a couple of slaps." Since we did not have Hungarian citizenship, we were very much afraid. If anyone were to complain against Papa, the whole family would be deported immediately. When Papa heard what happened, he was angry again: "What do you want," he said to me, "that they should deport us?"

I felt awful, but something similar happened again. Our drinking-water supply was some distance from the house. I took water from one of the nearby courtyards, and one of the Gentile children came toward me and called out: "Dirty Jew!" I retorted: "I'm not dirty. I'm a Jew alright, but I'm not dirty!" He said: "How come you say you're not dirty? The Jews are cry-babies. Filthy and dirty!" I spilled the contents of my pitcher on him. I told Papa. "Now what have you done?" he scolded me. Poor Papa. He waited for that boy's father to show, but nothing happened. I tried to stop doing things like that.

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