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Wanted: Rabbi Versed in Dark Talmudic Arts

By January 31, 2010

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Craigslist is one of those places where you can find just about anything and, according to the "wanted" listing submitted to the site yesterday, one family jokingly hopes that a rabbi trained in the dark arts is among the many resources to be found:

Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM.
Date: 2010-01-30, 6:19PM

WANTED: One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.

We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!

Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from intimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for "precious". This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.

Comments
February 1, 2010 at 1:46 pm
(1) David says:

Be careful what you ask for, because you may get more that you asked for.

February 1, 2010 at 5:09 pm
(2) Karen says:

I want my golem to be adept at housework and willing to paint my apartment.

February 1, 2010 at 10:48 pm
(3) K says:

Dark Talmudic Arts – This was obviously written by a fool.

Probably lives his life according to the fortune cookie that came with last night’s Chinese take out.

January 1, 2011 at 1:43 pm
(4) bonnie says:

actually, as amused as i am by the help-wanted ad, i actually find my self very curious about any actual responses (aside from put-down comments)…..my only problem w/this is that i do not consider Rabbi Leib as a master of dark-ness – rather i probably would have phrased it “looking for en-Lightened rabbi…..” – the tales were, to my mind, a healthy way for a “people” to look for hope in what was/is, a sometimes very crazy world. to bad that there wasn’t a golem sent out to meet adolph…….

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