Craigslist is one of those places where you can find just about anything and, according to the "wanted" listing submitted to the site yesterday, one family jokingly hopes that a rabbi trained in the dark arts is among the many resources to be found:
Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM.
Date: 2010-01-30, 6:19PM
WANTED: One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.
We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!
Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from intimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for "precious". This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.